Wimbledon Relocated to Glasgow Due to Scorching Weather

AS London suffers one of its worst starts to a summer, this year’s Wimbledon tennis tournament is to be held in Glasgow after the largest city in Scotland enjoys unusual scorching weather.

Spokesperson for Wimbledon told Dafty News: “There are three main reasons why we have had to reschedule this year’s tournament.

Number 1, the weather. London has been groggy with lots of downpours.

2. Strawberry sales are expected to hit an all-time low due to adverse weather patterns.

3. Andy Murray won’t have too far to travel to suffer another Djokovic humiliation.

Asked where the tournament will take place in Glasgow, our Wimbledon source replied: “Anywhere really where people will be willing to fork out exuberant and extortionate prices for strawberries.”

We think our Wimbledon source must be on something because the only way you’ll get Glaswegians to taste a strawberry is if it is squashed into a bottle and labelled with a %vol sign on it.

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