Wimbledon Relief as Cliff Richard Announces Absence

Wimbledon fans let off the hook as Cliff Richard says he won't be making an appearance this year.

TENNIS—18 billion strawberries and thousands of toffee-nosed, snooty-arsed, attractive and very rich arseholes, heaved a sigh of relief after it was announced Cliff Richard will not be making an appearance at this year’s prestigious and very pricey Wimbledon, according to reports.

Wimbledon fans let off the hook as Cliff Richard says he won’t be making an appearance this year.

Meanwhile millions of television viewers are expected to tune in, due to the football season having its break, to watch the extravaganza annual event take place but not to watch tennis players.

Our sports correspondent Talkdinho explains: “Viewers will tune in not to see tennis players grunt and groan at each other but to see Cliff Richard’s empty seat and enjoy the relief of not having to endure Cliffy Boy belting out his hit, Summer Holiday.”

Watch cringeworthy moment Cliff ‘entertains’ a rain-soaked Wimbledon audience

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