Wetherspoon to Open up Anywhere and Everywhere

PUB chain Wetherspoon has announced it is to open up everywhere and anywhere it possibly can in a daring bid to pollute Great Britain with dangerous levels of boredom, it has emerged.

The chain, famous for having a quiet pint among egotistical over thirtysomethings and above, says it has plans to expand its monotony out with the country, with war-torn Syria a possibility.

Spokeserson for the chain said last night: “Syria doesn’t need rebuilding. What it needs is a good Wetherspoon to lighten the mood of the people and to calm them with a melancholy atmosphere.”

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Dafty News

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