THIS WEEK: Welsh Rabbit

To prepare this age-old, delicious favourite, I always travel to Wales first. I find this adds authenticity to the dish.

Then, it’s simply a choice of either killing your rabbit in the wild with a shotgun or buying a locally bred one from a pet shop and bludgeoning it to death in the kitchen before throwing it in the pot. They taste pretty much the same afterwards but the former is a lot less time-consuming and messy in my view.

After boiling your rabbit on the stovetop for a couple of hours, I like to throw in a live hamster or two. This both seasons and thickens the stock. Once again, you can purchase these locally or simply take one belonging to your child from the cage in its bedroom.

Finally, serve on a bed of vegan ox lungs, sprinkle on some grated bulldog spleen and enjoy with a vegetarian chianti or a flagon of gibbon’s blood.

Bon appetit everybody!




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