This week: Battered Rabbit Surprise.

With all the Christmas excesses out of the way what better way to get back into shape than with this delicious and satisfyingly bloody dish for all the family to enjoy.

Firstly, surprise a rabbit by sneaking up behind it and bludgeoning it to death with a club.

Next, take the lifeless carcass home and throw it in a large saucepan of boiling water with some hamster intestines and a few live bank voles.

Finally, add 150 millilitres of liquidised koala bear hearts (chilled in the fridge overnight) and serve with sauteed potatoes and some stunned gerbils.


Next Week: Tracy goes poaching in Africa and fries a dying water buffalo in an elephant guts marinade.





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