UKIP Man Blames Brief Dry Spell For Mail Order Bride’s Saucy Lesbian Romp

A high-ranking member of the right-wing United Kingdom Independence Party last night claimed that a half hour break in the current wet spell of weather that has bedevilled much of the country recently, led to his Thai bride of 6 weeks engaging in a steamy sex romp with a woman who lives in their street in leafy Dorking in Surrey.

Andrew Davidson, 63, and a UKIP member of The European Parliament for 2 years, issued a brief statement last night: “It is with the greatest regret that I have to inform you that my wife and I have agreed on a trial separation following a regrettable incident last week during a brief break in the weather. I dont wish to go into details at the present time, but I can reveal that I caught her cavorting naked in our bed with one of our female neighbours. I can only assume that the woman concerned took advantage of the dry interlude to visit our home and seduce her.

“Admittedly things have been somewhat strained of late, and that since she was awarded British citizenship, our customary warm handshakes and sessions in front of the fire, reading The Bible, have all but dried up. However, I’m hopeful that we can patch things up, given the time and space to do so, and that’ll she’ll eventually see sense and revert to the warm-hearted, smiling girl she appeared to be when I first proposed to her on the internet”.

Mr Davidson’s wife, a former Thai national, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was unavailable for comment last night, but she was spotted earlier in the day by neighbours, arm in arm with a large middle-aged woman in Dorking town centre. They reportedly bought a number of pairs of sensible shoes from a local charity shop before entering a nearby salon for  severe haircuts.

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post

Sign up to the Dafty News newsletter
Sign up to our newsletter to receive behind-the-scenes stuff no-one else gets to see. It's completely FREE! Just pop your E-mail address in the box below and you'll be taken to the inside. See you there!
Dafty News

Dafty News

Parody & Satire News Channel