It was a Saturday morning like any other in downtown Whitechapel. People were thronging the market in the warm spring sunshine as the stallholders lustily called out their wares. High above the street, in his lofty, Drinking Den of Solitude above Carpetland, Stuporman was pouring his 10th pint of Tennant’s Super of the morning. Last […]
Hi guys and welcome to my ethically sound world of humane cuisine. With Spring well and truly under way and with those long barbeque Summer days just around the corner, I’m going to look at ways of preparing a delicious roadkill feast that all your family and friends will enjoy on those long, balmy Summer […]
A 32-year-old London man has failed to find anything significantly wrong with his character or in his recent behaviour despite taking a good, long hard look at himself as instructed by a number of Facebook friends. Toby Dell, a paint sprayer from Whitechapel, told Dafty News: “I was constantly seeing these cryptic status updates on […]
by Danny SoZ Evenin’all Policing London’s mean streets can be an exacting and extremely dangerous business, even during the so-called festive season. In actual fact, the Christmas period can be one of the most lawless times of the year due to the propensity of Londoners to over indulge in alcohol, which as we all know, […]
by Danny SoZ Following the exposure in the media of the recent spate of spurious holiday reviews online, a 59-year-old widow from Whitechapel has revealed that she was held captive for 8 months in Syria by Islamic State fighters and made to engage in bitter hand to hand conflict with Kurdish forces after being duped […]
by Danny SoZ There was a stark warning for the people of Whitechapel in East London last night after The World Wildlife Fund announced that the Tibetan lama could be extinct in the district within six weeks unless swift measures are taken to conserve the rare creature. A WWF spokesman told us last night: “Without […]
A 61-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London has died in hospital after being killed by a balcony which fell from his hotel in Playa Del Ingles on the holiday isle of Gran Canaria yesterday. Mr Danny Dell, a mechanic and father of 9, was returning to his hotel in the early hours of Monday […]
Evenin’ all. Police work in London’s inner city can be a risky and even a life-threatening business at times, where vigilance and alertness are key. In these cash-strapped times for the Metropolitan Police, it is not always possible to deploy two constables on one beat, and this is why I trained as a skilled dog […]
BBC execs were said to be cock-a-hoop last night after securing the broadcasting rights to screen a shove ‘apenny match between two rival pubs in the East End of London. A spokesman for The Beeb said “We are delighted to announce that we will be screening full recorded highlights of the shove ‘apenny match between […]
Dear Dafty News Why don’t they put a stop to all this furore over building a third runway at Heathrow by simply building it on the soon-to-be vacant site of the ‘Jungle’ migrant camp in Calais. That way, nobody would have to lose their homes and all the refugees that are hiding from the French authorities […]
