SUBBUTEO TABLE SOCCER TO INTRODUCE DEAD SPECTATOR FIGURE

Table football icons, Subbuteo, have unveiled plans to feature a deceased fan in their Winter 2016 version of the popular game. The announcement comes after the recent spate of deaths by natural causes at games up and down the country.

A spokesman for the company told a press conference last night: “Here at Subbuteo we pride ourselves on being up to date with all the latest trends and developments in the game, so with this in mind we have decided to introduce a new figure representing the number of supporters who have passed away during matches in recent months.

“It’s a little early to reveal details just yet, but our designers are currently working on producing a hunched, seated figure with it’s head lolling to one side. After the match itself is completed, players will be able to flick the figure forwards so that it falls face down in the gap between seating.

“We also plan to introduce a small, coffin-shaped slot in the box to accommodate the figure, on top of which, a small phial of fish oil will be provided so that players can add a few drops to the box before closing the lid. This will then produce an authentic, rotting flesh aroma the next time the box is opened.”

The company hope to release the updated version in time for Christmas, although they are remaining tight-lipped about rumours that work is underway to revamp their much-loved table cricket game by manufacturing an authentic England team consisting entirely of 11 corpses.

 

 

 

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