Square Sausages to be Banned

The traditional square sausage, well-known in Scotland as a basic foodstuff, will soon be banned under proposed new European laws.

It appears the there have been complaints made against this staple foodstuff by Italian and German sausage makers who claim that the Scottish ‘Square’ sausage is actually more of a trapezoidal shape and advertising, or selling it as a ‘Square’ sausage, should be made illegal.

Toni, who owns the chippy in Byres Road in Glasgow’s trendy west end said:”Aye, it should be banned as it’s harder to wrap up in a bag with your chips.”

Shuggie from the city’s Maryhill said: “Square sliced is a major food source for the majority of Scots, they canny ban it.”

Politicians from all major political parties are up in arms about this. One, who requested that he not be identified, said: “If we can’t claim a couple of rolls on sausage on expenses, then we’ll just have to have fillet steak instead.”

Angela Merkel, the figurehead of the European Union, when asked about this, she stated: “Who cares about Scotland, German sausages are the wurst*.”

*I believe that there might have been a slight error in translation.





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