Sports Direct Founder Mike Ashley Forced to Admit to MPs That His Goods Are Crap

SPORTS DIRECT boss Mike Ashley faced a committee yesterday where he was forced to finally admit what the whole country has known for years: his goods are pure crap!

Speaking in his dulcet Londoner tones he addressed the panel of union officials and critics with a full apology:

“I have made a lot of money selling cheap crap to the public. I fully apologise but in my defence the crap has outgrown me. I have no control over it anymore. When I started it was just small crap I had in my inventory but now that crap has gotten so big for me it has become a shit load of crap now that I can’t clean up.”

Ashley also confessed he nearly offload even more crap to the public after it emerged he tried to buy BHS.

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post

Dafty News

Dafty News

Parody & Satire News Channel