Following the bitter disappointment of England’s early exit from Euro 2016 and the ignominy of being thrown out of the EU against their will, the Scottish people are now eagerly hoping that the forthcoming 50th-anniversary celebrations of England’s 1966 World Cup triumph over West Germany at Wembley on 30th July will lift the nation’s flagging spirits.
Excited Scots are already buying colour televisions to watch replays of the game and putting up bunting in the streets. Thousands are also snapping up ’66 memorabilia commemorating The Auld Enemy’s finest hour all those years ago. Mugs and t-shirts with Geoff Hurst and Martin Peters on them have already sold out following unprecedented demand from England-mad Scots.
The Scottish parliament has decreed that 30th July will be a bank holiday and that there will be a nationwide two minutes applause at the precise time Geoff Hurst belted in the 25- yarder that put the result beyond doubt.
We spoke to one excited Glaswegian who had painted a huge St George’s Cross on the front of his house and who had a tattoo on his forehead declaring “England. Mah Bonny England”
“Tammy” Hamilton, 68, from Drumchapel, said: “Ah cannae wait tae start the celebratin’ tae be honest wi’ ye. Ah remember fine well when yon Rabbie Moore lifted the trophy. Mah dad was so happy he smashed a bottle o’ Bucky over mah mither’s heid. Aye, it’s gonnae be a day and nicht tae remember when the Scots start wi’ the celebratin’ ah’ll tell ye that much son. Mah wife’s already started oan the big boayz ginger tae get her in the mood”
For those Scots that have overdone the celebrating, pubs and off-licences are fitting big screens to their ceilings, so that inebriated revelers can watch replays of the game while lying in their own sick.