After last night’s drive-by super soaking, 50p put a video on YouTube blaming Snitch Dawg for scooshie gunning him down and ruining his Nokia 3210. A close friend of 50p said, ’50 is trying to get a new life and go unlegit. He is sick of getting stick because he goes to bingo with his granny.
Snicth Dawg was questioned by police and told them everything.
He said that, “50 sneaked into his house and threw a bath bomb into his bath which made Snitch smell of lavender, ginger and everything nice.” This made snitch furious as no gangster should smell like a pampered princess.
Our source at daftynews.com told us: “50 found out Snitch was messing about with his girlfriend. At first he just thought they were flirting until Brittney was seen wearing Snitch’s sovereign ring and Berghaus jacket.
We managed to interview Brittney and asked her a series of questions to try and get to the bottom of the situation.
28, Female, Maryhill
What is the situation with 50p and Snitch?
“50p is going over the top. We were only nipping one-nighters and I know for a fact he got my clown chain from Argos”
She told us that her and Snitch were planning on getting married and going to Craig Tara for a honeymoon.
Congratulations how did Snitch propose?
“It was so romantic he proposed to me on the kickback page in The Digger paper.”
What did he say?
“Ah pure knew it was about me. I will read it out to you”:
‘Awrite muffin drawers? It’s big Snitch, let’s make this legit and buy some kit. Your mine for life and I’ll give ye ma knife, I’m gonnae bring ye a golden ring FT Polis YMF’.
So what is next for you and Snitch?
“Well we are seriously thinking about winning the lottery, if not Snitch said he’s going to kid on he has got a limp so we can get DLA and get a brief. I have been offered a shot at being a page three model for The Digger and Snitch is releasing his new song Tell Me Your Name, So I Can Tell The Polis.