Prisoners complain Christmas dinner wasn’t up to much

by Dafty News

Inmates at a hardened prison complained about their Christmas dinner yesterday, with many refusing to accept the substandard dishes handed out by guards dressed as Santa Claus, it has emerged.

One inmate, serving 160 years for chopping up a team of innocent shoppers in a mall in 1983, said ‘it was the worst meal he’d ever tasted’ and returned the chocolate gateau cake provided by a renowned local chef.

Another high-risk prisoner who will never leave prison alive due to his 345-years sentence imposed on him by judges, struggled to eat the four-course meal after guards found he tucked into three selection boxes in the early hours of Christmas morning.

Speaking to Dafty News this morning, prison bosses, who wished to remain anonymous, sighed: “We tried our best for the prisoners. We believe part of a prisoner’s sentence is to reform them and give them a sense of belonging. The poor sods are banged up 22-hours each day, it can’t be easy on them.”

It was initially thought all inmates at the maximum security prison would be having Christmas dinner at a local restaurant but prison bosses were told they had to book in July.

Dafty News understand at least five inmates went on hunger strike after the stuffing in one of the turkeys was ‘a little bit cold’.

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