RECLUSIVE North Korean Dear Leader Kim Jong-un celebrated Prince Harry’s engagement to Meghan Markle yesterday by firing a ballistic missile across the waters toward Japan, sources from the secretive state revealed.
It was initially thought Jong-un launched the missile to provoke the U.S. into World War III but reports have quashed any such rumours after making the following statement:
“Kim was delighted at the news of the royal engagement and wanted to take part in the global celebrations.
“A series of tests were made before firing a very dangerous weapon in the direction of Japan.
“Afterwards Jong-un and his team sat down to a very large banquet of dead poor people’s bodies and washed it down with the blood of some military officials who weren’t pulling their weight. Some were executed as part of the after-dinner entertainment for internal spying and having a bad attendance record.”
Asked why a simple box of fireworks was not let off in his back garden like most people would do, our source said: “Fireworks are difficult to come by in North Korea. It’s much easier to get your hands on a nuclear warhead and an assortment of long-range missiles that could potentially wipe out the earth’s existence.”
It’s not the first time Kim Jong-un has fired a dangerous weapon to mark a momentous occasion.
In 2015 the mad-cap leader launched a rocket towards London to celebrate a rare West Ham victory but had to recall the rocket in mid-flight after the opposition scored a late equalizer to make it 1-1.