Much of Britain to be Covered in Arsene Wenger’s Big Long Jacket, Say Weather Experts
WEATHER experts have warned most of the country will be completely covered in the Arsenal manager’s big long jacket, causing weeks of darkness, it has emerged.
Weather expert Dan Ogilvie Hunter told Dafty News: “We can expect Mr. Wenger’s big long coat to blanket the country around mid-October right through until late November.
“We expect it to occur during a string of defeats and disappointing draws where Mr. Wenger will throw a strop – and his dug-out jacket – that will eventually see the cold wind coming in from the South and carry it northwards, eventually covering as far as the Shetland Isles.
“This will no doubt cause untold chaos in the skies as no flights will be able to come into Britain and no flights will be able to depart. It’s going to be complete darkness as the winter sets in.”
It’s not the first time a Premiership manager has caused a twist in weather patterns.
In 2001 Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson sparked a record rise in global warming after he angrily launched the dressing-room hairdryer at his players during a half-time team talk – fuelling an unexpected rise in temperatures across the country.
Manchester experienced a record high of 11 degrees during the month of August while Ferguson’s hometown, Glasgow, witnessed a clear blue sky for the first time since the 1800s.