Never Mind The Bus Cocks: Today I got a Train

I had to be at another location for work today so I was afforded the luxury of using a train.

Tales on a bus from Scottish comedian JD Brown

It’s essentially a heavier bus with a toilet and more expensive take-away food discarded on it.

For my journey - which is further than my usual - the fare is cheaper. Fuck you bus!

I’ve been on trains in some of the remotest parts of the earth: Mildenhall, Belfast, and Airdrie, but today’s train has been caught in a time warp since 1971. Every seat looks like it came straight from an episode of The Likely Lads. The amount of ‘lost’ footballs along the train line is staggering. Orphaned soccer balls rescue charity. You heard it here first.

The train is too civilized for my liking. There’s no token bampot or standard cunt for me to write about. Everybody has a beard on this carriage…even the burds.

The automated announcer even sounds cunted with her work.

 

 

 

 

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