Mainland Europe “Inching Closer” to England’s South Coast Claim Brexit Lobby

Prominent Euro- skeptics and campaigners for the Brexit - Britain better out of Europe campaign - have made the claim, that, according to recent measurements taken by one of their supporters, mainland Europe has moved closer to the south coast of England by an alarming 3 inches in the last two weeks.

Ex- London mayor, Boris Johnson, the poster boy of the Brexit lobby, backed up the claim in a speech made in Isleworth yesterday. He told a crowd of supporters: “According to an email I received from a gentleman in Hillingdon yesterday, Europe has moved closer to The Isle of Wight by almost a foot in the last 6 months. He knows this because, every other day, he rows across The English Channel with a tape measure on board while his friend holds the other end. He estimates that by the year 3098 we will be joined to France by that bit that sticks up out of Normandy and that nothing will then prevent millions of Europeans marching into England to take all our jobs and our girlfriends”

Johnson was backed up by the leader of the right wing, United Kingdom Independence Party, Nigel Farage, who called for a thick rubber protector to be fitted along the south coast, a bit like the deflectors on bumper cars, so that if France tries to join up with us it will bounce off and float away harmlessly back into the sea.




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