Libra Horrorscopes for 2016

Love

Libras are always on the hunt for that perfect love match and 2016 will be no different. If you are looking for that big love and perfect partner in 2016 then here’s how it’s gonna go—you have more chance of finding aliens hover down and kidnapping the Loch Ness monster. Neither exist - and neither do aliens or the monster.

Life

As you get older life starts to suck. It sucks the blood from you, it sucks the air from you and it sucks energy from you. 2016 is supposed to be a fruit of change for you Libras but all I can see are bruised peaches strewn across the lawn of life and a bunch of straight bananas all refusing to turn ripe. The start of the year will be met with misery, like every start to a year. You will wonder how you can get out of the pit of despair and you will be very worried, constantly–and you have every right to as well. Things look like picking up around March but i said they ‘look’ to be picking up. They won’t actually pick up, it’s just a coin of phrase that holds no substance whatsoever. The summer will produce a meltdown but you gear up for the Autumn where things will get better…for other star signs. The winter is your time to be who we all know what really makes a Libra: a miserable, moaning and grumpy sod. Keep warm.

Career

Who needs a career when you can get some other bugger to work for you? Sod careers, they just disappoint in the end and it is always best to live life mouth-to-mouth anyway; that way you don’t worry if your potential business empire comes crashing to the ground and you find you cannot fend for your family. At least when you have fuck all you get used to having fuck all and it makes it easier for you to adapt when the hard times come crashing.

All about Librans:

Librans come with a reputation for being balanced and a stickler for all things equal. That is so far from the truth and you know it. You are as reliably balanced as a game of snooker on a boat – during high waves. Dealing with your own problems in life has always posed a problem for you Librans and this is why you are a fucking expert at poking your nose in other peoples’ business.

 

 

 

 

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