Dear Dafty News

In their 1980s smash hit single: Melting Pot, the singer out of Blue Mink, clearly says: “We should all get together in a loving machine. We’d better call up The Queen. It’s only fair that she knows”

Well, I don’t have The Queen’s mobile number (I lost it when my old phone died), so I went round to Buckingham Palace with a loud hailer and shouted through the railings: “We’re all going to get together in a loving machine Your Majesty”

However, instead of being greeted by a cheery royal wave, I was bundled into a police car by a member of The Royal Protection Squad and interrogated for 6 hours at Scotland Yard before being bailed to appear at Bow Street Magistrates Court where I will face a charge of Conduct Likely To Cause A Breach Of The Peace.

Where’s the fairness in that then?

Marvin Fuck

East Kilbride




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