Leicester City to Strengthen Next Season by Signing Bricklayers and Plumbers

THE English Premiership is to get more exciting next season after Leicester City announced they will be adding to their squad.

The club, set to win the English Premiership at a canter and destroy everything we were conditioned to believe about the world’s most beautiful game, vow to add a few overweight plumbers, some out-of-touch bricklayers and a host of unemployed labourers to give the opposition a bit of a chance.

Claudio Ranieri said today in a statement:

“We are sailing through this championship and will probably be red hot favourites to win the title next season. So, to give others a chance and to show everybody in the league we are not a one-man team, we will hold trials for everybody and anybody. If you are really bad you will make it into the squad.”

It is understood the criteria for a position in the Leicester City team will come in the shape of:

  • Dodgy knees
  • Must be over 14-stone
  • Have breathing problems
  • Good at PlayStation 
  • Own a Jamie Vardy shirt

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