Jubilant Brexiteers Gather Outside Biro Factory

Over a thousand cheering Brexit voters have joined in a rally outside a ballpoint pen factory in Leeds to express a message  of thanks to the manufacturers for their key role in bringing about the Leave side’s victory.

We spoke to one excited Brexiteer, Toby Thicke, who told us: “Without our biros none of this would have been possible because MI5 would have erased our pencil crosses with a rubber and put a new one in the Remain box in biro. I’m not usually allowed to have a biro, but my mum rang my social worker and she said I could borrow my mum’s while I voted.”

The factory’s owner, Toby Carter, 57, said “Personally I voted to stay in; but business is business at the end of the day. I’m hoping I’ll have made enough from all these extra sales to be able to sell up and move to France with the wife and kids before it all goes tits up.”

MI5, last denied they would have doctored ballot papers: “To be honest, we’d have just torn up the Leave ones and thrown them in the bin. It’s much quicker you see?” a spokesman told us.




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