Jeremy Corbyn Beat Me For Not Calling Him “Prime Minister” Claims Commons Cleaner

A 22-year-old woman, employed as a cleaner in The Houses of Parliament, has made the shocking claim that the beleaguered leader of The Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn, beat her with a wooden stick when she refused his demands to call him prime minister while the pair were alone in The House of Commons debating chamber last night.

Tracy Dell, from Whitechapel in East London, said: “I was sweeping between the benches on the government side when I saw My Corbyn sitting alone in Mr. Camerons seat. He looked unkempt and he kept standing up and leaning on the despatch box. He was muttering to himself, and at one point he kissed The Mace and called it “his precious”

When I asked him if he’d mind putting his feet up on the division bench so that I could sweep, his face went all red and he started calling me “the honourable member for Spitalfields”

“Then he asked me to call him prime minister while I sat in the Speaker’s chair. I was really scared, but I refused and tried to run away but he grabbed me and started beating me with a stick. He kept saying “I’m going nowhere and neither are you” He was sweating a lot and I think he was aroused sexually.

“Luckily, Boris Johnson came in to look for his pen that he’d left behind earlier and he told Mr Corbyn to let me go. He then punched Mr Corbyn in the face, and told him to get back over his own side.

“He was so kind and even took me back to my house on the back of his bike. I’ll never vote Labour again after this I don’t mind telling you.”

Corbyn was unavailable for comment last night after having locked himself in a ladies toilet in The House of Lords; claiming that he has an overwhelming mandate to stay there forever.




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