ISIS Terrified of Partick Thistle Mascot
Meet Kingsley, the brand new scary mascot that is so horrific even militant group ISIS have been seen running for cover to avoid it.
FOOTY NEWS—Scottish football club Partick Thistle unveiled their new mascot to their adoring fans but the mascot is not your usual furry, cuddly, adorable heart-melter.
No, the mascot, named Kingsley, has been described as the scariest mascot ever to grace the touchline — and horrify the centre spot.
The mascot is so frightening even President Obama has shown an interest in him and could make a move for him during the transfer window.
Obama wants Kingsley to frighten off ISIS.
Our political whistleblower inside leak aide from Washington told Dafty News this morning: “We’ve tried everything to stop ISIS such as: droning, spying, infiltrating and false-flagging, but we believe we have uncovered something that will frighten the crap out of ISIS and that is the gruesome, horrifically mean, and astonishingly brutal-looking Kingsley, the Partick Thistle mascot.”
It is unclear if Partick Thistle will allow their mascot to leave to warden off ISIS but a close aide whistleblower leak inside Firhill (Partick Thistle’s ground) told our undercover reporters: “They can have Kingsley but only during two away games and after we get knocked out of the first round of all the cup competitions.”
Partick Thistle Football Club unveil new terrifying mascot…
Introducing our new mascot, designed by @davidshrigley, Kingsley. pic.twitter.com/78HQuQCUI8
— PartickThistle FC (@ThistleTweet) June 22, 2015