Humanitarian groups were dismayed last night as news broke that a 23-year-old unmarried woman from Tehran faces a public flogging after being spotted walking to work eating a Dairylea Cheese Triangle, in flagrant breach of Iranian law.

A government spokesman told reporters “This woman’s actions were both brazen and un-Islamic. It is forbidden by law for any woman to eat in public, particularly when she is in transit between one place and another.

“It is quite clear that this female was wantonly attempting to enhance the curves of her body by combining a high protein snack with gentle exercise.

“We have informed her father and her uncles of our decision and they have agreed to stone her to death immediately after her release from prison following her punishment”

This latest decision will shock human rights activists already reeling from the news that a Saudi Arabian woman has had her jaws screwed together following a back seat driving incident involving herself and her husband in which she urged him to slow down a bit as they approached a roundabout.

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