SACKED England head coach Sam Allardyce beamed with pride at a press conference after being sacked just 67 days into his international managerial career.
He told the waiting press: “I will go down in history because no other England manager has a 100% win record like mine.”
Calls for Big Sam to be knighted surfaced but were quickly shot down in flames after FIFA announced they do not recognize England’s very late injury-time goal (95th minute) in England’s 1-0 win over Slovakia – Allardyce’s only game in charge.
FIFA spokesperson said in a statement:
“The win was against a tiny country – it doesn’t count. Also, Adam Lallana scored the goal. He plays for Liverpool so it doesn’t count either. And there is another thing to consider. There was a big fat balding supporter with his top off swirling a can of a very strong Slovakian super strength lager so Mr. Allardyce’s 100% record is questionable and won’t be listed on our Greatest Managers of All-time books.”