Iain Duncan Smith has just been made a saint for his miracles in helping the UK’s blind to see, the lame to walk, and the disabled to be cured, it has emerged.
Spokesperson for the Vatican said: “He personally, with the aid of ATOS, has managed to get almost all of the invalids and handicapped people in the UK cured, and that was why he gets a sainthood.”
They can now go on to fulfilling lives working in zero hours contracts and low paid jobs instead of claiming benefits.
A member of one the UK disability groups said, “There was recently a gentleman who was missing both legs and one arm, but when seen by Mr Duncan Smith’s acolytes (ATOS) was judged fully fit and able to work, and if that’s not a miracle, I don’t know what is.”
Mr Duncan Smith was unavailable for comment at his luxury mansion in the home counties.