A 52-year-old woman from Drumchapel has told Dafty News that her husband’s head generated so much heat during The Liberal Democrats Party Conference at Bournemouth yesterday she boiled the kettle on it.
Tracy Dell, a midwife and mother of 4, told us: “I noticed that my husband’s face was getting redder and redder while he was watching the Lib Dem conference on telly this afternoon so I stuck the kettle on top of his head and boiled it to make us both a cup of tea.
“Toby’s a staunch Brexiteer and gets very angry if he sees anyone supporting Britain remaining in the EU.
“Only last week, I had to throw a bucket of water over his head during a long, pro-remain diatribe from James O’Brien on his LBC radio phone-in.
“When I stuck the kettle on his head again to make us a second cuppa during Vince Cable’s speech about staging a second referendum over Brexit I had to be really careful not to burn the base of the kettle. That’s how hot his head was.”
In other related news, a 32-year-old woman from Clydebank managed to cook egg and chips for her family of six after placing a frying pan on her left-wing husband’s head during President Trump’s inaugural address to The United Nations yesterday afternoon.