FACEBOOK TO INTRODUCE: “I’M A BLOODY IRRITANT” BUTTON
Following on from the news that they are to add a “transgender button” to their sign-up page, social networking giants, Facebook, have announced, that from March 2016, new members will also be given the opportunity to signpost them self as a complete irritant who will consistently get on everybody’s nerves
Announcing the new “I’m A Thick, Unstable, Irritating Fuck” option, a spokesperson for the company told a press conference: “At Facebook we pride ourselves on the diversity of our membership, many of whom are beetle-browed, crushing bores and halfwits, who send fellow members racing to the sideboard for the service revolver every time they update their status; and it’s to this ever burgeoning group that we are directing this new option. We feel that it’s only fair that people with unappealing personality traits that could clear a room in seconds be given the opportunity to point this out when they sign up for an account.
“In this way, we feel we won’t be alienating the annoying dullards who post plagiarised, philosophical words of wisdom, or who keep reminding us that their bastard cat/dog means everything to them with stultifying regularity. Those with minor aches and pains who never fail to let the world and his wife listen to their constant daily whining about having a headache or period pains, will also find this option helpful”
This latest move comes hot on the heels of the announcement by fellow social networking giant, Twitter, that they will be introducing a new feature allowing the user to announce that they’re a boring, tragic arseole in 140 characters.