Dr Who storm as actresses hit back at BBC’s female circumcision directive
Actresses and female crew members working on the iconic sci-fi show, Dr Who, have reacted furiously to a directive from the BBC which stipulates that all women working on the new series must undergo female genital mutilation to prevent them from experiencing sexual pleasure and thereby damaging the show’s squeaky-clean image.
One woman, who wished to remain anonymous, told us: “I was playing a bug-eyed monster that was menacing The Tardis, when, without warning, a member of the BBC’s first aid team removed my clitoris.
“I complained to the director but he told me to fuck off out of it”
Another woman, a scenery-shifter, told us that she had her labia cut away by a BBC human resources manager while she was moving a big board with stars painted on it from one side of the studio to the other.
A BBC spokesman said last night: “We see this as sensible and reasonable move to protect the show’s image. One or two board members actually wanted to sew the women’s fannies up completely, until it was pointed out that they wouldn’t be able to go to the toilet”
This latest furore comes after the entire male cast and crew of Coronation Street were castrated by ITV executives during a break in the filming of last Wednesday’s hour-long special.
If you’ve been watching Dr Who and you’re above the age of 10, call the newsdesk and one of our specially-trained counsellors will rip the living piss out of you until you start crying - Ed
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