by Danny Soz Folk singing legend, Bob Dylan, last night played down his no-show at Saturday’s Nobel Prize awards ceremony when he explained that his American bulldog had eaten his acceptance speech the day before and that he hadn’t had time to write a replacement.
Dylan, who raised eyebrows when he was awarded the coveted prize for literature and then failed to acknowledge its bestowal for weeks, told reporters: “I was all set to go out the door and set off for Sweden to accept this award thing in person when I noticed that my dog had chewed up and partially eaten my speech.
“I was pretty pissed as I’d spent over half an hour writing it just the day before, but I guess that’s dogs for you. I’ll probably have the pain in the ass sonofabitch put down for this.”
A spokesman for the Nobel Foundation said last night: “We are sorry that Mr Dylan has seen fit to absent himself from the ceremony. We shall, of course, be requesting that he sends photographic evidence of the dog-related incident he describes, as well as a note from his mother.”
As the awards ceremony took place on Saturday evening, Dylan was seen playing pool in a local bar with two leggy blondes. According to an eye-witness, the dog was not with them.