CLASSIFIED ADS: Win a free trip into space courtesy of Fuckblast Tonic Wine

by Danny SoZ

We, at Fuckblast Abbey in Wapping, are offering our loyal Scottish customers the chance to experience all the thrills of a journey into space via our exciting competition which carries a first prize of a crate of 24 bottles of ‘Fucky’ plus a litre of methylated spirits to add as a mixer.

A once-in-a-lifetime chance for all space cadets to finally get themselves wired to the moon with the extra high %vol bottle of Fuckblast. You’ll drink it to the moon and back.

All you have to do is send us the retail price of 24 bottles of Fuckblast plus a litre of meths, and, after just a few hours drinking, you could soon be experiencing the type of out-of-this-world sensation that spacemen probably get during blast off.

Just send a bankers draft for the full amount of 2 thousand smackers (p&p included) to:

The Fuckblast ‘Ah’m Aff Mah Bastart Heid’ offer

234 Execution Dock

Wapping

London E3

Disclaimer: Nobody will be getting any free drink as the result of this offer, and what’s more, anyone who complains will be visited pretty sharpish by one of our highly-trained burly sales operatives who will put you in the infirmary before you can say “Ah’ll tek the lot of yersh” Do you understand?

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