We, at Fuckblast Abbey in Wapping, are offering our loyal Scottish customers the chance to experience all the thrills of a journey into space via our exciting competition which carries a first prize of a crate of 24 bottles of ‘Fucky’ plus a litre of methylated spirits to add as a mixer.
All you have to do is send us the retail price of 24 bottles of Fuckblast plus a litre of meths, and, after just a few hours drinking, you could soon be experiencing the type of out-of-this-world sensation that spacemen probably get during blast off.
Just send a bankers draft for the full amount of 2 thousand smackers (p&p included) to:
The Fuckblast ‘Ah’m Aff Mah Bastart Heid’ offer
234 Execution Dock
Disclaimer: Nobody will be getting any free drink as the result of this offer, and what’s more, anyone who complains will be visited pretty sharpish by one of our highly-trained burly sales operatives who will put you in the infirmary before you can say “Ah’ll tek the lot of yersh” Do you understand?