Stage 10 of the iconic, Tour De France cycling race saw excitement at fever pitch yesterday as a number of the men taking part began to ride their bicycles even faster than they had done on the previous day. One breathless spectator told us: “It was absolutely epic. I spotted at least 5 riders going […]
THE grime and hip hop artist responded to the incredible mix-up liking him to Manchester United’s latest signing Lukaku by penning a four-year deal at Stamford Bridge, it has been confirmed. Stormzy was said to be furious after an edition of The Herald announced the Reds’ £75million capture of former Everton player Romelu Lukaku but […]
As the Wimbledon lawn tennis championship gets underway later today, reigning champion, Andy Murray, has the added pressure on his shoulders of knowing, that should he fail to get past his first round match against World No. 134, Alexander Bublik from Kazakhstan this afternoon, he will be stripped of his ‘Proud Brit’ status by the English media and […]
A 9-year-old boy with bowel cancer who led the West Ham United team out for their home fixture against Arsenal in 2011 has grown into an absolute twat according to family and friends. Tobias Dell, now 18, is now free of the disease after extensive radiotherapy and now works in the City of London as […]
The DVD released by the English FA of last night’s World Cup clash between, “The Auld Enemies’, England and Scotland, which focuses almost entirely on England’s last-gasp equaliser and the reactions from England fans and coaching staff, has met with a less-than-enthusiastic response from soccer fans north of the border. The DVD, which features Harry […]
Troubled golfing legend, Tiger Woods, has been invited to visit East London next month by Whitechapel Borough Council. The star will attend a civic lunch followed by a public stagger-about, where he will be able to weave unsteadily among the locals before visiting The Lord Rodney’s Head public-house in Whitechapel Road for a really good […]
Under-fire Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger, has vowed to fight tooth and nail to restore Arsenal’s hard-earned reputation of finishing fourth in the Premier League year in year out. Speaking to Dafty News, the 89-year-old Frenchman said, “I won’t rest until we have finished, languishing well behind the top three again. “It’s going to take time […]
IT has been three whole days since a male office worker ran the Edinburgh Marathon but his working colleagues say he is ‘still fucking going on about it’, it has been reported. One office worker who works on the same floor as the keen runner told our reporters this morning: “The twat ran the marathon […]
CONTROVERSIAL footballer Joey Barton received an 18-month ban from the game after it emerged he bet on himself actually making a successful pass to one of his team-mates, according to reports. The ban, which will likely see Barton retire from the game due to his age of 68, was handed down by the F.A. who […]
In a surprise move, the entire playing and coaching staff of Whitechapel Wanderers FC have just announced that they are all homosexuals. The announcement came from the team manager, Toby Dell, 35, who told The Whitechapel Whelk: “I can confirm that the entire team, as well as myself and the team coach, are all gay. […]
