GREAT BRITAIN has vowed to obliterate North Korea and make their Dear Leader suffer after the dictator was seen in public not giving a fuck about the latest marital drama involving cheat Wayne Rooney and his suffering wife, Coleen, it has been reported. Reports say Kim has shown a complete lack of respect for the […]
A source close to the Trump administration has told Dafty News that First Lady, Melania Trump, regularly entertains family members and friends by performing a medley of songs made famous by the 1930s ukelele-playing legend, George Formby, using her bottom to produce musical notes The insider told a DN reporter: “Mrs Trump is in great […]
A source close to Prime Minister, Theresa May, has revealed that she broke wind loudly as news of her impending disaster at the polls became clear last June. The anonymous insider told Dafty News: “I was standing right behind her when the exit poll results started coming in. “Seconds after she was handed the forecast on […]
Thousands of panic-stricken Texans were fleeing The Lone Star State this morning as news broke that President Donald Trump was going to visit the storm-ravaged region later on today. There have been reports of residents of Austin, the state’s capital, hiding in flooded basements, fleeing on foot, and even climbing on rooftops in a desperate […]
REPORTS in the United States has laid the blame firmly on school shootings being down to ‘there being too many schools’, it has emerged. The reports have caused widespread debate between pro-gun campaigners and anti-gun protesters resulting in both violent and peaceful clashes across the country. Anti-gun lobbyists say they hope to reduce the numbers […]
THE international community gathered yesterday to express their concerns after one of North Korea’s ballistic missiles missed Love Island, during filming for the popular TV show, it has been reported. North Korea’s Dear Leader Kim Jong-un addressed his adoring audience in Pyongyang late last night and apologized to the west for failing to put the […]
Furious writers of political satire are planning a mass rally in London later today to protest against the resignation yesterday of White House press secretary, Sean Spicer. The organiser of what is being called, a satirist’s ‘day of rage’, Toby Dell, 45, told us: “I was absolutely shaken to the core when I heard that […]
There was a mixed reaction amongst Conservative party supporters last night after ex-Employment Minister, Norman Tebbit, called for all the survivors of the Grenfell Tower fire disaster to be kicked in the buttocks in case they have entered the country illegally. Tebbit, 147, told pressmen, “In my view, all these people should be given a really […]
IMMIGRATION authorities in Britain have issued concerns over the recent sightings of great white sharks off the coast of England, fuelling worries they could be planning to settle in the country, it has been reported. With the topic of immigration very much a political headline these days, it is thought the country is split about […]
Comrade Corbyn is at it again. Just days after refusing to bow to our glorious queen, evidence has emerged that Jeremy Corbyn was spotted disregarding another of this nation’s great and cherished traditions – saluting a solitary magpie. The incident happened as Jeremy and members of his cabinet walked through Parliament Square Garden to the […]
