A recent report in The Lancet magazine has shown that people who whinge at length about chronic health conditions on the social media site, Facebook, stand a slightly better chance of recovering than those who choose homoeopathic remedies. According to findings by The Royal College of Surgeons, people who drone on endlessly about their aches and pains […]
A FACEBOOK user was slammed this morning after having the audacity to change his profile pic to the Iranian flag to honour the 540 people who died in Sunday’s devastating quake near the Iraqi border, it has emerged. The user wanted to express his sadness at the tragic loss of hundreds of lives and to […]
There was fury last night as the iconic, Western Infirmary in Glasgow was demolished with over 500 patients still inside. The University of Glasgow, who now own the property and ordered its demolition to make way for new campus buildings, were unrepentant last night. A university spokesman told Dafty News: “It was bad enough having […]
POLICE were called to premises in the Midlands early this morning where they discovered a family of five’s badly decomposed remains all huddled together on a three-seater sofa and clutching what forensics described as popcorn and two remote controls, it has been reported. The police were called after neighbours reported a really bad odour coming […]
A 35-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London has told Dafty News that an anti-terrorist police officer pinged the braces on his trousers after the clips and adjuster bars set off an audio alert as the man passed through a metal detector at the Remembrance Sunday service at The Cenotaph in central London yesterday morning. […]
SEXUAL harassment in Hollywood took another twist last night after a former child actor claimed E.T., the star of Spielberg’s classic sci-fi fantasy film, pressed its groin up against the youngster during trailer breaks whilst on location, it has emerged. The unnamed actor who wanted to press charges over thirty years ago but for the […]
Buckingham Palace last night revealed that Her Majesty The Queen, along with The Duke of Edinburgh and other prominent members of the royal family, will this year be spending the Christmas period on the enormous face of pop icon, Olly Murs. A Palace spokesman told reporters that The Queen is fed up with spending every […]
A double murderer’s final meal before being executed at a state prison was slammed yesterday after it emerged the meal lacked the vital nutrition required to fuel the body for the day ahead. The family of the convicted murderer plan to take their case to human rights in the hope the same mistake is never […]
Theoretical physics genius Stephen Hawking has delivered a blow to humanity after he announced ‘it’s going to take at least another fifty years before any human being will be able to assemble IKEA furniture, without any hassle or losing it’, it has emerged. Speaking at a science convention, the Director of Research made this heartbreaking […]
A HOUSE burglar has claimed Paddington Bear beat him so severely he was left blind in one eye and traumatized, it has been reported. The brazen thief allegedly broke into the flat where Paddington lives in the hope of stealing some stashed presents reserved for Christmas, but was met by the tiny bear, brandishing a […]
