BRITISH WOMEN BRACE THEMSELVES FOR INEPT SEX DUE TO BBQ TESTOSTERONE SURGE

Women across the UK are steeling themselves for bouts of brief, and laughably inept sexual intercourse with their partners as British men experience a testosterone surge brought about by barbecuing meat in the garden during the predicted weekend fine spell.

Psychologists attribute the phenomena to the ‘hunter-gatherer’ syndrome, whereby, men who have shown little or no interest in sex for years, or who may even be impotent, becoming briefly sexually rampant after burning a few sausages or incinerating a burger or two.

Dafty News spoke to one woman from Drumchapel in Glasgow who told us: “I absolutely dread these brief warm spells as it means my Bertie will become inflamed and subject me to a laughably inept bout of sexual intercourse. Fortunately, the mercury rarely ever climbs above 10 degrees up here so I don’t have to put up with it that often”

In other news: Controversial media personality, Katie Hopkins, has abandoned her vow to “run naked through London with a sausage up my bottom” if Sadiq Khan wins the London mayoral race, after thousands of people sent her giant salamis through the post.

 

 

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Dafty News

Dafty News

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