Britain’s women gearing up to turn nasty in the kitchen on Xmas Day

Britain's women gearing up to turn nasty in the kitchen on Xmas Day
by Danny SoZ

According to reports, women across the country are already preparing to turn very nasty while preparing the Christmas dinner next Monday.

It is estimated that at least 18 million British women will hurl abuse at their husbands or partners during the preparation of Christmas dinner, mostly for minor offences such as trying to get a drink of water when they want to drain the sprouts at the sink, or standing in the doorway, meekly offering to make the gravy.

Last year, more than 6 million men visited the A&E department of their local hospital, with injuries ranging from carving knife wounds, to head injuries caused by being struck with a saucepan after offering to give the bread sauce a stir.

One man, Toby Dell, 47, from Whitechapel in East London, lost his life when his wife ran him through with a meat skewer, snatched from his hand as he tried to use it to see if the bird was thoroughly cooked through after it had been taken from the oven for basting.

His wife, Tracy Dell, 40, later stood trial for his murder at the Old Bailey last June, but was acquitted and awarded £500 from the public purse by Justice Hermione Boyce-Fotheringham after the court was told, that just seconds earlier, the deceased had brazenly asked her if she wanted a glass of Harvey’s Bristol Cream while she was in the middle of turning the roast potatoes.

This year, the government are advising all men to keep a safe distance from the kitchen while their partners prepare the Christmas dinner.

However, they are also warning men not to use this as an excuse to go to the pub.

In 2016, just over a million men were admitted to hospital with severe gravy burns after they arrived back a few minutes late and had their dinner plate tipped over their head.

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