AUNT HARRIET OUT OF BATMAN QUITS TO BECOME AFRICAN WARLORD

Comic book lovers across the globe were left shaken last night as news emerged that, Aunt Harriet, the bumbling, lovable Aunt of Batman’s youthful ward Robin, has quit the show to become leader of a murderous band of rebel fighters in The Democratic Republic Of Congo.

She is believed to be behind a number of recent atrocities in the region, including the sacking and burning of a tribal village last week which left over 200 charred and mutilated bodies lying in the dust.

The Dynamic Duo, both looking visibly shaken, spoke to reporters at a secret location outside The Bat Cave last night. Batman, his face etched with concern said: “Robin and myself realised something wasn’t quite right last week when we found our faithful butler, Alfred, disembowelled and hacked to pieces at the bottom of one of the Bat Poles. There were also tribal symbols and African political slogans sprayed all over The Batmobile. Stately Wayne Manor just won’t be the same without her”

At this point The Boy Wonder became animated and seemed overwrought, smacking his gloved fist into his palm a number of times before blurting out: “Holy Murderous Matrons Batman! I bet that foul fiend The Joker is behind all this! To The Batmobile!”

Batman then had to steady the young crime-fighter, placing a hand on his shoulder saying: “Steady old chum. Profanity is the domain of the poorly-educated scoundrel. There may be young children watching”

The Caped Crusaders then went back inside The Batcave before millionaire Bruce Wayne emerged minutes later with a glamorous starlet on his arm to pose for snappers.

This latest revelation will further stun fans of American comic book heroes, already shaken by the news that Superman’s girlfriend, Lois Lane, personally led a brutal attack by Islamic extremists on a small Christian enclave in Uzbekistan last Thursday, leaving over 300 dead and many more wounded.

 

 

 

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