THE city of Glasgow and surrounding areas was overwhelmed at the weekend after temperatures rose to a blistering 9°, sparking a frenzy in arseholes in shorts, sunglasses, and cut-down T-shirts.
Weather experts predict more of the same as temperatures are expected to hit 11° this coming weekend, which will likely see another flurry of complete tossers hitting street bars and cafes to make themselves feel very important.
Summer psychologist Anna Frielsteinhoff said of the bizarre occasion: “It’s a kind of a sickness, to be honest. It might be sunny but it’s still jacket weather.”
Meanwhile, species experts confess they are completely baffled by the ritual as normally removing clothing is expected in the mid to high 20s.
Daryl Klemenstein from the Institute of Really Stupid People told Dafty News: “In all honesty, there really is no explanation for this type of behaviour other than they are just a bunch of morons. It’s mostly a Glasgow thing. Because they don’t see the sun that often; any glimpse of it brings out the inner arsehole in Glaswegians.”