American Soccer Fan Arrested And Beaten To Death For Appreciating Move By Opposing Team

There was widespread condemnation across the globe last night as news emerged that a 45-year-old man had been arrested and then beaten to death in a Miami jail cell after being reported to the police for expressing his appreciation of a shot at goal by Portuguese striker Christiano Ronaldo in a local bar during a recent friendly international between USA and Portugal.

Fellow drinkers called the cops after Dwight Kincaid from Miami Beach, Florida was heard to exclaim “Hey that was a pretty neat effort guys!” after the Portuguese ace struck the crossbar from 30 yards during the clash.

A spokesman for the Florida Police Dept said last night “Hey shit happens man. The disloyal sonofabitch had it comin’ anyways. He’s lucky he wasn’t a black dude or we’d have shot the un-American fuck right there in the bar.”

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