A 24-year-old woman, known only as Miss 3603500, has landed her dream job as a supermarket checkout girl after bosses were given leaked photos of her mugshot and photos of her lazing about in her prison cell.
Supermarket chains were said to be fighting for her signature but last night the convicted felon chose one with sources claiming she will put pen to paper on a three-figure contract. She will earn £4.55 per hour.
Supermarket bosses say the woman was tipped off as she appeared to look disjointed in life, was a single mother-of-six young kids all under school age, had a personality issue and a drink problem, and has misplaced her National Insurance number.
Cliff Mearns, who runs the un-named supermarket told Dafty News: “She has all the credentials to work as a cashier, as you can see. She’s a bit overweight, rude, impatient and would offer you a fight outside if you dared question her counting abilities.”