Wee Granny Bella’s Nursery Rhymes

Wee Granny Bella's Nursery Rhymes
Wee Granny Bella's Nursery Rhymes
Wee Granny Bella's Nursery Rhymes
Wee Granny Bella’s Nursery Rhymes

Our favourite story teller, Wee Granny Bella, doesn’t only entertain her neighbours’ children with stories, she also amuses them with her own down-to-earth versions of their favourite nursery rhymes. Dafty News reporter Noah Canney contacted her recently to ask if she would be happy to share a few with our readers, and this is what she said:

‘Aye, nae bother son. When ye think aboot it, they nursey rhymes are just stupit an’ they don’t make sense. Ah tell the weans a logical version that makes them think sensibly right fae the start. Ye want them tae be naeb’dy’s fool. Nae messin’, ye huv tae get clued up at pre school level fur tae be street wise by the time ye’re four.’

So here is a taste of Wee Granny Bella’s no-nonsense nursery rhymes.

 

Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet

Eating her curds and whey

Along came a spider

And scared the shit oot of her, so she legged it.

 

Incy Wincy Spider climbed up the water spout

Down came the rain and washed the spider out

Out came the sun and dried up all the rain

An’ a wuman screamed an’ clobbered the spider wi’ a phone book.

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men

Laughed at him and told him tae get a grip.

 

Hush-a-bye baby in the tree top

When the wind blows the cradle will rock

When the wind breaks the cradle will fall

And that’ll teach ye tae put a wean at the top of a tree.

 

Polly put the kettle on

Polly put the kettle on

Polly put the kettle on

Has she got Altzheimer’s or whit?

 

Twinkle Twinkle little star

How I wonder what you are

Up above the world so high

Ye must be a satellite.

 

Read more Wee Granny Bella’s classics here >>>

Comments

comments

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*


Solve : *
17 × 10 =