It is being widely reported in the popular Russian press and on pro-Russia websites that beleaguered British cycling legend, Sir Bradley Wiggins, administered the poison to former Russian double agent, Sergei Skripal, that has left him fighting for life in a Wiltshire hospital.
Pravda has claimed that Wiggins, a fierce critic of Russia’s sports doping programme in the past, must have dropped a phial of poison into Skripal’s coffee as he rode past on his bike, while Russia Today clearly point the finger at Wiggins, who is himself currently at the centre of a doping furore.
In today’s leader, they claim that Wiggins had asked once asked Skripal to get him some performance-enhancing drugs from Russia to make him go faster in the Tour De France a few years ago, but the Russian had angered the Brit by making excuses about not being allowed back into the country without risking immediate arrest.
Wiggins last night strongly denied the allegation, telling newsmen: “The only thing I asked Mr. Skripal to bring me back was some cough mixture and one of those sets of dollies that fit inside one another.”
In other related news, America’s alt-right mouthpiece, Breitbart News, are claiming that a crazed Barack Obama cooked up the plan to eliminate Skripal which was then carried out by his former lover and 5-dollar hooker, Hillary Clinton.