President Trump declares his love for Partick Thistle


US President Donald Trump’s latest genius claim has, at last, come with substance after he officially declared his love for Glasgow giants Partick Thistle.

A Trump advisor said this morning: “Donald has made many claims and not all his choices have gone down too well but by declaring his love for the Mighty Jags, this is by far the smartest thing he has ever done since he came into office. This is what you call a ‘real genius’ by opting to choose the biggest club in Europe to support.”

Jags manager Big Roan Aitchison beamed with excitement as he told reporters at a press conference ahead of the club’s European clash tonight against minnows Juventus:

“Big Donnie boy is welcome anytime to the club for a pint of stale ale and a mushy pie.

“We’ll make him feel extra special by offloading our two main Mexican strikers, who’ve each netted a total of 170 goals between them and we’re only halfway through the campaign. We want Donny boy to feel comfortable.”

Trump is expected to attend the club’s U21 cup tie against Raith Rovers on Tuesday night. The game will be streamed live on Facebook using two stolen mobile phones from the boot of a Skoda Octavia found abandoned at the top of Maryhill Road.

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