Outrage as Corbyn REFUSES to salute solitary magpie

Outrage as Corbyn REFUSES to salute solitary Magpie

Comrade Corbyn is at it again. Just days after refusing to bow to our glorious queen, evidence has emerged that Jeremy Corbyn was spotted disregarding another of this nation’s great and cherished traditions – saluting a solitary magpie. 

The incident happened as Jeremy and members of his cabinet walked through Parliament Square Garden to the House of Commons. The magpie appeared in front of the group, in plain sight of the Marxist leader, yet he made no attempt to acknowledge the bird’s existence or status.

The event was witnessed by white van driver Brian ‘Bazza’ Thompson, who gave this comment: “It’s absolutely disgraceful, right, everybody knows that you have to salute a single magpie in order to avoid sorrow. You know, one for sorrow, two for joy, three for… tits, four for… Whatever, It’s clear he’s got no respect for this country’s cultural institutions. I bet if it had been a Muslim bird he’d have on his knees praying to Mecca”.

However, the Labour party has rejected the accusations, saying that Jeremy had not broken protocol. “While it is customary to salute a solitary magpie in order to ward off sorrow, there are different traditions across the country. Jeremy was not obliged to salute the magpie, as Dianne Abbott had already spotted the magpie, spun around three times and touched the ground”.

A spokes-bird for the magpies stated “Although it’s always nice to be acknowledged, we magpies don’t really care about being saluted anymore. In the past, we might have bestowed some sorrow on you but our role is more ceremonial than anything. No magpie now really wants to bring sorrow, but we don’t want to dilute the magic – it’s a tricky balancing act. The British public and the whole world need institutions like it.”

Cowardly Corbyn declined the opportunity to challenge these accusations, his press secretary stating he was “too busy comforting constituents affected by the Grenfell tragedy”.

More like trying to steal houses from hard working oligarchs, the little shit.

by Michael Hollingworth

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