A FAT man in his early forties has told workmates he will have a six-pack in time for the festive season, it has emerged.
The man, a heavy-drinking, binge-eating, wareheouse worker, boasted to his colleagues he could easily drop the pounds in time for the festivities, despite this being his 17th attempt.
He told our reporters this morning after a heavy weekend on the booze:
“I have the best incentive this year and that is to pull one of the secretary staff. I need a flat stomach for that to happen. She won’t look at me with this fucking thing hanging over my trouser belt.”
The porky but qualified forklift driver plans to have his ripped stomach by cutting down on the booze by consuming only half of the eight pints he downs every evening.
The fatty is not the only one to make an astonishing promise ahead of the Christmas season.
A woman from Yorkshire hopes to fit a size 12 dress for her office party.
It is understood the 24-stone heavy is desperate to be on the receiving end of some annual sexual remarks by her bosses and male colleagues, to blend in with all the other females.