JUST IN: Fears grow for Mike Pence as his lean worsens

JUST IN: Fears grow for Mike Pence as his lean worsens
by Danny SoZ

Close friends of American vice-president, Mike Pence are becoming increasingly alarmed at the rate at which his body movement away from the perpendicular has grown over the past few months.

His press agent, Tobias T. Dell III, told us: “Everybody’s so scared for Mike at this time. He’s always had a slight lean but just lately it’s gone crazy. I checked on him last night and he was over 12 degrees from an upright position

“I don’t know if it’s the stress of the job that’s making his lean worsen or if it’s a congenital condition of some sort. Whatever it is, we all just want it to stop”

A team of anthropologists from Denver University have calculated that if Pence continues to lean at the current rate he will be lying down completely by March of next year.

 

 

 

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