News broke last night that newly appointed club chef, Mikey “Fanny Batter” Doyle, has been dismissed with immediate effect after the club chairman and other members of the board messed themselves after eating toast cooked by Doyle during a meeting to discuss plans for building a new hut for the groundsman.
A club insider described the scene as “Absolute mudder. There was shite and pish awl oo’er the bastart shoap so there wus”
Doyle refused to comment last night, but newly appointed, popular 1st team coach, Danny “Gaffer” Soz, told reporters: “I’m not surprised they sacked the cunt to be honest. I went down with gastroenteritis last week and the fucker had only given me a glass of water!”
More Jags news as we get it.