I’ve been in the throes of orgasm since 1963: Lulu’s shock confession

I've been in the throes of orgasm since 1963: Lulu's shock confession
by Danny SoZ

Scottish pop icon, Lulu, last night revealed that she has been climaxing non-stop since she banged her head on the sideboard at her Glasgow home in 1963

The 103-year old, Shout singer told us:”I was doing the hoovering when I tripped over the cat and banged my head on the sideboard. I lost consciousness for around 10 minutes and then woke up to find myself in the midst of a shattering orgasm.

Since then, I haven’t been able to stop. I’ve tried many different ways to put an end to this perpetual orgasm, including hypnotism and sitting in a paddling pool filled with iced water, but that just made it worse and actually brought the water to a rolling boil.

“I was even climaxing violently when I was introduced to The Queen after The Royal Variety Performance in 1975. I’ve a horrible feeling she realised what was going on because she let go of my hand really quickly and moved on to Max Bygraves.

“Thankfully, I’ve now learned to suppress my cries of ecstasy to a large extent as it used to upset the family when we were watching television in the evenings. Nowadays, the only place I can really let go is when I’m watching my favourite team, Partick Thistle, playing at home.

“Whenever the Jags slam one into the back of the net at Firhill I just give vent to my pent-up sexual desire and scream the place down.”

When we asked her when she was last able to let go in this manner, she grew a little reflective “I think it was last March” she told us.

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