ISIS: We’ll Welcome Singer Ariana Grande After Her ‘I Hate Americans’ Outburst

SYRIA—Terror group ISIS were said to be licking their lips as hopes increase the Love Me Harder singer is about to join them, it has been confirmed.

Gossip website TMZ were handed footage of Grande’s rant which was captured on CCTV. In the clip the pop idol can be heard saying: “What the f*** is that? I hate Americans. I hate America.”

Ariana Grande's 'I hate Americans' outburst taken out of context but ISIS get excited at the prospect of recruiting pop sensation. Photo by ImageCollect
Ariana Grande’s ‘I hate Americans’ outburst taken out of context but ISIS get excited at the prospect of recruiting pop sensation. Photo by ImageCollect

The 22-year-old says her words were ‘taken out of context’ but militants believe they could capture their biggest signing since taking over Syria’s terror-torn region.

Spokesperson for ISIS made this statement this morning:

“It is clear Ariana Grande would be perfect for us. We could brand her under the name Syriana Grande and use her to sell our cause and plight to other young hopefuls.”

ISIS’s plan may be clear but it is also understood there is one thing that may put ISIS off.

Our spokesperson continued:

“It’s not her long shapely and inviting legs that is the problem. It’s her singing and the fact she is very good friends with Miley Cyrus. At ISIS we do have a very open recruitment policy but we do have standards and know where to draw the line. We can accommodate a Syriana Grande but it would be unthinkable for us to have a Miley CyrISIS in our group.

 

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