A 23-year-old man from Maryhill in Glasgow has told Dafty News that women fall at his feet whenever he mentions the fact that he supports beleaguered local football minnows, Partick Thistle.
Tobias McDell, a forklift truck engineer, told us: “I’m not a particularly handsome guy nor do I have the knack of chatting up women so it always comes as a bit of a surprise when they virtually throw themselves at me when I mention in passing that I’m a Jags supporter.
“Last week, I was propositioned by a stunning blonde outside the club shop and the week before I was groped on the train by 2 attractive brunettes while wearing my Jags scarf and rosette. In the end, I had to lock myself in the toilet to get away from them.”
We spoke to a leading psychologist last night who told us: “This sort of behaviour is quite commonplace amongst females, who are often inexorably drawn towards men who support inept soccer teams. It’s the old ‘sympathy shag syndrome.’
In other related news, an Arsenal supporter was sexually harassed by a bevy of scantily-clad beauties last night as he left Wembley Stadium following his team’s 3-0 Carabao Cup drubbing by Manchester City.